Love Making Tips (not original)

Friends, I'm doing my taxes and I really, really needed a laugh. So, when a friend sent me these, even  if they are doing the rounds, I decided to share them. If anyone can tell me the proper attribution, I'll be delighted to post that.

Subject: Love Making Tips For Seniors



Love  Making Tips For Seniors

1. Wear your  glasses to make sure your partner is actually in  the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in  case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set  the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL  OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your  speed dial before you begin.

5. Write  partner's name on your hand in case you can't  remember.

6. Use extra polygrip so your  teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have  Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the  act..

8. Make all the noise you  want...... The neighbors are deaf too.

9.  If it works, call everyone you know with the  good news!!

10. Don't even think about  trying it twice.


'OLD' IS  WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs  and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick
one; I  can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your  friends compliment you on your new alligator  shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS  WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles  out of your face.

'OLD' IS  WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse  goes, just as long as you don't have to  go
along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are  cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of  by the police .

'OLD' IS  WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you  don't need to take any fiber today.

'OLD'  IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find  your car in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS  WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up  to use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS  WHEN...
You are not sure if these are facts  or jokes?