The perfect compliment to my mission statement

For anyone who was following the promised countdown, I will do a retrospective on what I should have done. In the meantime, here's a bit of fun. I'm trying out what I call "Contrarian Marketing". I've been on a blog tour (I'll report back on the success of that, too) and I noticed that Savannah had a list, and she said she'd got the idea from someone else.

Those of us who are trying what might be a new trend of truth in advertising are tweaking the idea of a list in different ways. I find it the perfect compliment to my mission statement.

My goal as an author is to give good value. I expect to provide my readers with six to eight hours of amusement, a couple of really good laughs, a romantic frisson or two from the sensual scenes, a thoroughly satisfying Happy Ever After, and something to think--or talk-- about when the book is finished. And possibly some useful information

ELEVEN REASONS NOT TO READ KNIGHT'S FORK

11. Disrespectful words such as tallywacker and joystick are used with reference to male body parts

10. It's long. (Not the tallywacker... well, it is, but I meant the book). Knight's Fork has 340 pages, and most new Chapters do not begin on a fresh page.

9. It has a Prologue and an Epilogue. That's two beginnings, and two endings!

8. It's going to take about eight hours to read.

7. The hero is a 28 year old virgin and proud of it. (He's also ruthless with a weapon of a different sort).

6. The heroine is locked in a chastity belt, and she doesn't have a key.

5. The family tree is so complicated they needed to spread it over two pages.

4. If you read in bed, your significant other might be disturbed by your giggles and snorts.

3. The F- word is used, but only by villains, and only in conversation.

2. If you read it in public, someone may ask why the naked man on the cover is lying in a puddle

1. If you don't read every paragraph, you may ask yourself why the naked man is lying in a puddle


If the above list has not deterred you, please look for Knight's Fork at this convenient location
http://tinyurl.com/KnightsFork

Knight's Fork was awarded a PNR Reviewer's "Top Pick"
also a LASR readers' choice for Best Book of the Week

It's predecessor, Insufficient Mating Material recently won the 2008 Hollywood Book Festival's Romance category.

http://tinyurl.com/Backlist-reviews
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp?WRD=Rowena+Cherry


TEN (AND A HALF) REASONS NOT TO READ INSUFFICIENT MATING MATERIAL


10. Insufficient Mating Material are not words I feel comfortable waving about in front of gentlemen on the bus or train, for instance.

9. If it's about a man with a small penis, I don't want to read that... I see enough of that at home/at the office/on TV.

8. It's going to take about eight hours to read.

7b. I find it totally implausible that a male could have a tattoo on his male body parts... and as for one that flashes in the dark, I'm not interested in the slightest.

7. The hero is a loser. I don't like books that take the antagonist from a previous book and give him a happy ending.

6. I don't identify with a heroine who is a little bit overweight, and who wears a corset (or any other tummy taming garment).

5. The family tree is at the back of the book. I'll be furious when I find that I wasted all that energy trying to memorize the characters' names and relationships.

4. I've heard that if I read Insufficient Mating Material in bed, my giggles and guffaws will annoy my significant other.

3. The F- word is used by the hero both as an expletive and as a verb.

2. If "Survivorman" Les Stroud loved it, there's probably too much information about hunting, fishing, camping, and surviving in the wilderness.

1. Apparently, it contains "a sizzling passion hot enough to singe" my "fingers as I turn the pages".... That sounds uncomfortable.



TEN REASONS NOT TO BUY FORCED MATE

10. I'm told that it's not a bodice ripper, but it sounds like one.

9. PS. I like bodice rippers.

8. It's going to take about eight hours to read.

7. The hero is an alpha male. I don't like books that give male chauvinist pigs a happy ending.

6. I don't identify with beautiful, spirited, young, virginal heroines who have some funny ideas about sex.

5. I can't get my tongue around the Dj- names. I know that I simply pronouce them as if the D isn't there, but all the Ds bother me.

4. I've heard that if I read Forced Mate in bed, my giggles and guffaws will annoy my significant other.

3. The alien hero uses alien swear words. Moreover, his command of English grammar isn't perfect. He says unsense instead of nonsense. I hate that!

2. The spirited heroine uses her wits and her tongue. I can never have enough of heroines who kick the heroes in the goolies.

1. I don't like fantasy books set in England. Or in outer space.



Rowena Cherry
http://www.rowenacherry.com


http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp?WRD=Rowena+Cherry


I think Rowena's true skill is that she weaves this intricate world of aliens and sex just the same way J.K. Rowling weaves the world of Wizards.
~Des DiFabio, bookclubqueen